Blogging is the Broccoli of Writing

Your mother always told you to eat your veggies. Blogging is a writer’s healthy “food.”

Of course, just like any – seriously, ANY – diet, there are rules that writers have for their consumption and ejection of writing.

Here are mine, because like Tina Fey, I think food metaphors are always appropriate.

  1. Blogging is the Broccoli of Writing. Do I enjoy it? Not always. Do I feel like doing it? NO, no no no no, noooo, my friend. But it’s good for me. Writing has always helped keep my mind sharp, my fingers nimble, and my heart freshly bleeding. So I do it because I know it’ll help, and that’s it’s good for me, but I don’t like it a lot. I have several “Bad Blogger” posts that let you know just how much I don’t like it sometimes.

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2. Books are the Meat & Potatoes of Writing. Every author, if she wants to be known by her writing, has to write. Has to write. It’s harder and easier than anyone who doesn’t write could ever imagine. Just like big meals – like the ones my mother or mother in law cook at Thanksgiving, or I eat at Olive Garden – these take longer to prepare, longer to plan, and it’s gone before you can really even taste it sometimes.

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3. Desserts are the Shorts, Twists, and Experimental Stuff. There’s nothing I used to love more when I was in high school than thinking of new recipes for stuff. I still do it on occasion, but I’m not like my friend Terry Maggert‘s friend at Butter&Eggs. I can’t just just cook anymore.

Now, I do it with my writing. Whether it’s a short story I have written, a play idea I’m working on, or a screenplay I’m going to find someone in Hollywood to make after I find the right blackmail material, it’s always a bit of a surprise and usually a sweet or sour one. Or even both.

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4. Social Media & Marketing = Drugs. I’m serious. Social media is like a drug. It runs into your mind and forces you to focus on it, like a singing alarm going off in your head. During the time writing this post, I looked at Facebook probably about 5 times. Twitter is worse, because it’s easier to see stupider opinions about stuff. Google+ is a laugh, but only because I haven’t figured it out yet. And LinkedIn, well, that’s just depressing. Who wants to think of writing as work? I don’t – even though it is – and LinkedIn ruins this impression pretty quickly.

And as for the others – what others? I’m getting closer to 30 everyday, and I can’t keep up with today’s kids and all their Apps. If Apps were toys, I’d be the mother who picks them up after my teenagers leave them on the floor all over the place, and I’d throw them all in the same bin – the one I can either shove into a closet and not look at, or the one I can flatten and tuck under the bed.

Marketing is like drugs too, because you always either spend too much money too quickly, or you feel like a pusher in trying to get people to read your books and leave reviews. I can see how reviews would be much easier for people to leave if I went all Breaking Bad on them.

Thinking about all this food has made me hungry. I think maybe I’ll go and sit at a table with someone while just looking at my phone and maybe sharing a video but again, not actually talking to said person.

 

What are some of your rules for writing? Or, how does food influence your writing? Let me know in the comments below. Or just leave foody noises, maybe. (I know hungry people can’t think straight.)

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