One of my bigger self-tenets in life is that of efficiency. I hate backtracking, even if I know I must do it because I am lost, or I have taken a wrong turn somewhere. I am not sure why, but even when I was younger, I’ve felt like time was a mortal enemy more than a friend, a curse rather than a gift. Maybe I fear it to be more of a gift that can be taken away or cut short.
I am not sure.
Still, I have been backsliding a bit over the last year as I try to keep writing and to get the word out about my book. I highly encourage you, if you are an author, go get a degree in marketing. You don’t need a degree to write. You need strong knowledge of how to get your book out there once it is done, and the connections to see it through. Think about all the money that goes into marketing. Superbowl Ads cost the same amount as feeding a third-world country for a year.
Marketing is hard. It is demanding, too, and it really sucks the life out of you. I didn’t want to write anything the year after my novel came out, because I was running around trying to get other people to care about it enough to want to buy it. Caring about something means you work for it. And work means that you get tired. Especially if you are not sure you are seeing results.
Worthless work can really drain a person.
C. S. Lewis once said that progress sometimes means going back. These past couple of months I’ve made it my mission to go back to where I had the passion and the patience to write, before it was drummed out of me by all the marketing.
If you feel like you have been through a lot of pain, and there is no passion left in you, consider reassessing your life situation. What are you working for, in the short term, and in the long term? I’ve had to think through things very carefully to realize the truth: I can’t be a person who is driven if I don’t have something I’m driving towards.