When I was younger, I had a gym membership at a place that had a sign that said, “Getting here is half the battle.”
I like to think it’s half the battle that they see.
But I do agree – to a point. The struggle is real. If you want to be a better person, it’s very real.
I’ve been working on bettering my life the last couple of months or so – I tend to do this every year, starting with my New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t know why I like trying to keep them. Probably to feel some kind of silly sense of superiority over people but even that seems incomplete.
Because I do really want to be a better person. I want to look better, feel better, be better, etc. But It’s hard to do it.
I struggle with getting up and going to the gym. It’s hard. I don’t actually like working out that much, as much I try to convince myself I do.
I struggle with impulse buying and saving money. It’s so much nicer to spend money and feel that rush of power inside of you even while your creditors reel with delight.
I struggle with being patient with my kids and family and my students. I really struggle. Every call to “Don’t play in the sink” and “Pick up your socks” and “Do your homework!” is a chip in my armor of patience, until I am naked with anger and frustration at the poor soul who happened to chisel away the last of it.
I struggle with writing. How can just writing words be so hard!?
I struggle with so much. And it’s real.
But it’s also part imaginary. I know it’s easy to make a dreaded thing into a dreaded idea, to make a fun-sucker in one area into a fun-sucker all over.
If getting “here” is half the battle, then there’s at least four or five battles going on inside of me and around me and even through me. Getting “here” really amounts to half of one battle I experience on one level at one time.
There’s the mental battle, the physical battle, the moral battle, the social battle, the financial battle, the pressure battle, the self-battle, and more. And there’s always failure, waiting for you to stumble so he can grab onto you and try to make you succumb to his power and lies.
The struggle is real.